we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize