TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
