i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
