I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Your cock deserves a montage
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
