i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
