I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
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