whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
