I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
