How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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