He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
