imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
