Don't you send me to vm
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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