The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
