I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Randomize
