so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
