is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
