I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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