I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
