no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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