No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
