You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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