where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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