Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Randomize
