So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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