i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize