he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
