are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You dont lie about slip and slides
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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