I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
