maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
