Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
