i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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