Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
