Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
