You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
