I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
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