forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
