Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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