The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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