She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
FUCK WHALES
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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