you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize