While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
