So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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