nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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