Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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