I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize