Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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