I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
