In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
