I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
