super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
