i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
