You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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