i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
