is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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