hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
