last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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