Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
