i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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