the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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