so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize